there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
