I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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