also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
