the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
and she was petting her beer can
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
