Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
