her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
