Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize