went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
