On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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