just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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