Four minutes until I can fart!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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