I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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