you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
