We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
