Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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