Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ketchup is God's man juice
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
