try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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