So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
birth control should be required to get into college
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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