Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
