Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
