Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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