every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
