i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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