I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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