I think I died a long time ago.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
