i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
