i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
