no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
