i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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