i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
