Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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