So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
