i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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