Nicole vs. Life
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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