we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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