oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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