I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
