And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
