btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
