I molested 6 butterflies tonight
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
