Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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