I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
