Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize