I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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