barbara walters just said penis...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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