my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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