She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
