you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
