no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
