so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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