I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
