morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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