Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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