So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
