STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
