Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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