we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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