I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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