Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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