He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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