I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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