Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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