i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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