I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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