So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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