I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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